Rule 7 - Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity
I have stolen this rule because I love it; this is Hanlon’s Razor. Most people are not plotting against you. In fact, most people aren't thinking about you at all. They are just trying to navigate their own lives, carry their own bags, and get through the day as best they can.
The problem is the human brain. We are hard-wired to look for patterns and assign intent where there is often only chaos. We treat life like a movie where we are the protagonist and everyone else is either a sidekick or a villain. But in reality, there are very few villains—there are just a lot of people who are tired, distracted, or simply don't know what they're doing.
The Double Standard of Intent
We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge everyone else by their actions.
Think about traffic. When you accidentally cut someone off, you have a list of valid excuses: you’re in a rush for an appointment, the sun was in your eyes, or the lane marking was confusing. It was an accident.
But when someone cuts you off? They are an inconsiderate, aggressive, terrible human being who is personally trying to ruin your morning.
When stuff goes wrong—a missed email, a forgotten birthday, a late delivery—don’t jump to the conclusion that someone has deliberately set out to get you. Don't assume they are "bad" people. Instead, presume it was a mistake.
Why This Matters
Adopting this rule isn't just about being "nice." It’s a survival strategy for your own mental health:
It lowers your blood pressure: Anger and resentment are heavy. Letting go of the idea that you are being targeted frees up massive amounts of emotional energy.
It preserves relationships: If you approach someone assuming they made a mistake, you invite a conversation. If you approach them assuming they are a traitor, you invite a war.
It identifies the real problem: If someone is "out to get you," there’s nothing you can do but fight. If they are simply incompetent or made a mistake, you can build a bridge (or a system) to help them improve.
The Business Bit
As a leader, "conspiracy thinking" will kill your culture. If you think someone is late on a payment because they’re trying to screw you, you’ll send an aggressive email and ruin the relationship. In reality, their accountant is probably just on holiday and they have a awful invoicing system.
When things fail in business, look for the broken process, not the bad person. Using this framing gives you the clarity to fix the structure so the incompetence can't happen again.
Homework: The Benefit of the Doubt
This week, catch yourself in the act of "villain-coding" someone.
Identify the "Attacker": Think of one person who has recently "done you wrong" or annoyed you (e.g., a barista who got your order wrong, a friend who hasn't replied to a text, or a colleague who missed a deadline).
The Malice Narrative: Write down the "conspiracy" your brain invented. (e.g., "They don't respect my time," or "They are trying to make me look bad.")
The Incompetence Reframe: Write down three boring, non-malicious reasons why that thing happened.
Example: They’re overwhelmed. They forgot. They didn't understand the instructions. They’re having a bad day at home.
The Practical Response: Based on the reframe, what is the simplest way to solve the issue without the drama? (e.g., Sending a polite "Checking in" nudge instead of a passive-aggressive follow-up.)
Assume people are doing their best with the limited tools they have. It’s a much lighter way to live.
