Rule 4: Snitches Get Stitches.
The rule of the streets. But I am absolutely not encouraging violence. I'm actually also mostly okay with you "telling on people" if you're a kid who needs help or are reporting something genuinely dangerous (See it. Say it. Sorted)
So, what does this rule actually mean?
It means that in 99% of situations, you should deal directly with the person who has the problem. Be radically candid, not covertly corrosive.
The Problem with Snitching
In life, "snitching" is a destructive behaviour that poisons relationships, erodes trust, and ultimately makes you look like a little B*t%h. It’s when you:
Go Behind Their Back: Telling a third party—a colleague, a friend, or a parent—about someone’s mistake, annoyance, or failing before you've discussed it with the person themselves.
Manufacture Trouble: Trying to get someone "in trouble" with authority instead of trying to get the problem fixed.
Offload Accountability: Using a middleman (like a boss or a parent) as a shield because you are afraid to have a necessary, difficult conversation.
This is exhausting, passive-aggressive behaviour. You spend more time politicking than you spend solving the actual issue.
The Power of Radical Candor
Instead of snitching, the Rule 4 alternative is to hold people to account to their face.
When you see a problem, approach it directly:
Start with the Source: Go to the person responsible.
Be Clear and Direct: Don't hint or beat around the bush. Explain the impact of the issue on you or the goal.
Give Them Ownership: Give them the opportunity to put the situation right for themselves.
This is how you earn genuine trust. People respect you when you are direct, even if the feedback is tough. They know you are loyal, and they know you will give them a fair chance. If you constantly run to authority—if you CC their boss, if you tell Mom and Dad about every little thing your sibling did—you are communicating that you are untrustworthy and afraid of conflict.
And, as a bonus life lesson, don't deal drugs. Just don't.
The Founder’s Code (The Business Bit)
As a founder, this rule is vital for building a high-trust culture. A founder needs people around them who are comfortable having honest, direct debates and feedback sessions (both ways).
Homework: The Direct Line
Commit to tackling one uncomfortable situation head-on this week, rather than outsourcing the conversation.
The Avoidance Spot: Identify one recurring minor annoyance, issue, or mistake that a close contact (a friend, partner, or colleague) is making. You have been complaining about it to someone else, but haven't spoken to them directly.
The Script: Draft a non-hostile, direct opening line to address the issue. Start with the impact, not the blame. (E.g., “Hey, I noticed the file wasn't updated by the deadline, and it caused a 30-minute delay for me. Can we talk about how to make sure that doesn't happen next time?”)
The Follow-Through: Commit to having that conversation within the next $\mathbf{24 \text{ hours}}$. No CCs. No third parties. Just you and them.
Build your bridges directly. Cus Snitches. Get. Stitches.
